Leaning Into Your Vision - An Interview with Kristian Jaloway

In this episode, Andrew chats with Kristian Jaloway, general manager for nonprofit advising at John Oberg Advisory.  Kristian works as a leadership management coach, specifically for nonprofit and institutional leaders, including priests.  Kristian shares what his role as an executive coach looks like, and he and Andrew discuss project implementation, vision boards, and why it’s important to say no to some requests of time, talent, and treasure.  

Show Notes

Background

Krisitian tells us that the seeds for his career in executive coaching began as he organized retreats in his youth.  From his retreat organizing days, he went to seminary, joining the Legionaries of Christ.  Kristian spent 19 years with the Legionaries of Christ and he became ordained, but he eventually left the priesthood and headed to public policy school at Texas A&M.  Though he didn’t remain a priest, Kristian credits his priestly formation to leading him to where he is today!  

Discernment

Andrew and Kristian spend time discussing discernment, and Kristian shares about his discernment process after he left the Legionaries of Christ. Kristian highlights how his journey of discernment was a multi-year process, and how though he often knew what he enjoyed (e.g. coaching, helping others, leadership training), it took him a long time to decide specifically how he was called to serve.    

Life As An Executive Coach

Kristian’s life as an executive coach focuses a lot on conversation and building relationships.  He spends a lot of time asking his clients, “What’s working?  What’s not working?”, and together they solve both individual and organizational challenges.  For organizations, Kristian facilitates conversations about strategic planning and project implementation.  As Kristian shares, so much of what he does his helping leaders take their ideas and make them happen.  Leadership isn’t just about ideas; it’s about implementation.  

Sharing Your Vision

Andrew asks Kristian how people determine if they need an executive coach, and while Kristian lists several benefits of coaching, he and Andrew spend a lot of time discussing how coaching can help individuals and organizations pinpoint and communicate their vision.  People often have a hard time identifying their vision, and Kristian explains he helps people know and share their visions using pictures and words.  He also stresses how sometimes what we think is our vision is not God’s vision for us, and so sometimes we have work to amend and clarify our personal and professional visions.

Philanthropy and Vision

Kristian and Andrew conclude their discussion by focusing on the relationship between philanthropy and vision.  Kristian emphasizes the importance of knowing how to say no to requests of time and money.  He discusses the harm that comes when we try to say yes to everything, and he highlights the need to carefully prioritize how we spend our time and our money.  We should devote our time and talent to those things that most fulfill our vision and lead us in our service to God.  

Lightning Round

1. If you could fundraise for any organization or cause at any time in history, what would it be?
• The flight into Egypt.  I’m not sure if they needed to raise money, but if so, I’d love to fundraise to keep God alive.     
2. If you could get a donor meeting with anyone living or dead, who would it be?
• I’ll have to get back to you on this one!  There are so many people who have done huge things for the church and the world, I can’t pick just one.  
3. Is there enough money out there for every organization that's doing good work?
• Oh, absolutely!  There’s more money than anyone needs.  It’s all about asking people for the right cause.  A lot of people haven’t been asked yet.    
4. What is one piece of advice that you would give your past self?
• Be patient.  Discern deep.  Be patient and really sit down and listen to the Holy Spirit.  
5. Who are 3 people who have most influenced you professionally?
• John Oberg:  He’s my current business partner and mentor.
• A long list of priests during my priestly formation.
• Pat Lencioni and Jim Collins:  Consulting professionals I look up to and would love to meet one day.   
6. What is one fact about you that most people don’t know?
• I’m almost a private pilot - I just need to take my final flight test. 
7. What is a book that you would recommend?
• The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann (and, the rest of the series!)

If you would like to connect with Kristian, you can find him on his company website johnoberg.com.  You can also find him on Facebook or LinkedIn.

Andrew’s Takeaways

I really enjoyed my conversation with Kristian, and I loved hearing about his coaching work.  My first takeaway from our conversation was just about why good leaders can still need coaches.  As Kristian mentioned, “most of leadership is not the ideas.  It’s the implementation.”  Leaders are often visionaries, they often have great ideas, but sometimes, it’s really hard to make those ideas happen.  That’s where Kristian comes in.  I love that his job as a coach is to support leaders in making their ideas for their organizations happen.  He guides them in planning and implementation and growth, and through his coaching, good leaders can become great leaders.  

I also really appreciated Kristian’s emphasis on knowing your vision.  As we discussed, I have kept a list of visioning goals for the past few years, and it has really helped me prioritize how I live, both personally and professionally.  As individuals and organizations, we need to be clear about our vision, why we do what we do, and what we ultimately hope to be.  I loved how Kristian went back to the basics of vision boards - start with pictures, then put your vision into words, and keep going.  He’s right in that putting a vision together for yourself or your organization is like pulling all the pieces of a puzzle together, and really, that can take time and patience and revision.  I will say also, that as a fundraising professional, I always stress how important vision is to the organizations I work with.  The guidance I can give organizations about money and fundraising is always more successful with clear vision.  When organizations can easily and effectively communicate their vision and invite donors into helping achieve that vision, they will see far more donor engagement.

Finally, my third takeaway is that I really value how Kristian explains the reasons that we need to learn to say no.  We need to be able to say no to requests for our time and for our money.  As Kristian tells us, “when we say yes to everything, we’re saying no to everything too.”  We have to be able to decide what our priorities are for our time and our money, and we have to be able to best choose those actions that fulfill our vision, the vision God has called us to live.  I also appreciate Kristian’s discussion about how this applies to fundraising.  He suggests that, maybe, it could be better for us to make it easy for donors to say no.  If they have an easy out, they can choose it and be done with it, or, if they do choose to give and support our organizations, then we know they’re committed, they saw something in our organization’s mission that called out to them.  They didn’t give just because of the pressure of our ask.  They gave money even when it would have been easy for them not to.  They said “yes”!  Also, I liked his reminder that we, as fundraisers, have to be okay with people saying no to our requests.  If we expect to be able to prioritize our gifts to support our own vision and needs, we need to allow others the freedom to do the same.  

Interview Transcript:

00:35.10

aggierobison

Well howdy. Everyone and welcome back for another episode of the Petrus Development Show. I'm thrilled that you're with us here today.  Today I have Kristian Jaloway joining me for our conversation. Kristian is the general manager for nonprofit advising at John Oberg advisory and ah he is an Aggie as well, as you know all the best people in the world typically are.

01:04.58

Kristian Jaloway

Whoop!

01:07.12

aggierobison

And, so I'm excited to visit with Kristian and learn a little bit more about the work that he does as a coach, as an advisor, and we'll talk fundraising and philanthropy as well. But Kristian, I just want to say thanks so much for joining me on the call today.

01:19.60

Kristian Jaloway

Thanks, Andrew.  It's awesome to be here. I've heard great stuff about Petrus over the years, and I got to know a little bit about what you guys have been doing, and it's just exciting to be here.

01:28.13

aggierobison

Awesome! Great! Well, we usually start these by handing it over to the guests to tell us a little bit about your background. How did you come to be a leadership management executive coach for John Oberg?

01:40.34

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, I started by organizing retreats. I was talking with somebody this morning. It's like my first event I planned was when I was 16 and got my mom's large car to drive a bunch of kids out for this retreat. Some priests were doing west of Austin, but anyways from there I joined the seminary and went with the Legionaries of Christ for 19 years, so the last four I was ordained and that's ah, that's a longer story we could to get into, maybe.  But, a week after my ordination we found out about Maciel's sad second life.

02:14.12

aggierobison

Yeah.

02:15.91

Kristian Jaloway

And all of that led to deep discernment, which should have happened earlier but happened after and hardest decision of my life was,not to join, but was to actually come back and say okay, what do I do next?  And where's the Lord leading me now? and so got into, well, what I understood then was…

02:25.72

aggierobison

Yeah.

02:34.31

Kristian Jaloway

…that preparation led me to this career now as a leadership coach and advisor, and I got into, I went to A+M to figure out what my next step was; I went to the Bush School, studied public policy, realized that I was really good with large institutions and those difficult conversations and things and so got into this work on on business advisory, specifically mostly with nonprofits, government entities, and those those kinds of things.

03:02.24

aggierobison

Yeah, so I want to talk a little bit, just briefly, about that experience with Legionaires, not sort of necessarily your experience in the Legionaires, but like you said, ah after you discerned to leave and then kind of start on this new path, was there? Can you remember that time, and what helped you to kind of find direction, and sort of, you know, find a path to explore in this kind of post-.Legionnaire's life? Was there anything in particular or was it, you know, a collection of things that helped to orient you?

03:27.23

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah.

03:35.13

Kristian Jaloway

I'd say it's like more of a collection with certain kinds of way points along that pathway because there's definitely I'd say probably a 5 to really ten year journey to kind of figure it out.

03:47.70

aggierobison

Wow! yeah.

03:49.64

Kristian Jaloway

And hone in more and more clearly about what I was supposed to be doing with my life at that point. So, I'd say 5 years to kind of get close, and then it's been continuing to hone that niche that I've been working in more and more.  So some of those moments were, even the decision to go to the Bush School, for example at A+M, it was a member of Regnum Christi who was a professor there, who had invited me to come and visit his class, and eventually convinced me to go there instead of to the LBJ school at UT, which is a big decision, a way better decision and um led to a lot of and other consequences along the road.

04:17.88

aggierobison

Yeah, I agree.

04:26.22

Kristian Jaloway

And, I just realized more and more as I went through that path of studies that what I loved, what I had always enjoyed, and it got confirmed from many people, including like my sister who told me, “hey before your ordination, I asked you why do you want to be a priest, and everything you answered didn't seem specifically priestly or sacramental, it had to do with helping others.” It had to do with coaching, it had to do with leadership, it had to do with all these elements and those things kept getting repeated back to me as I was kind of discovering who I was and what my real skills were, and what I was most interested in.

05:02.90

Kristian Jaloway

And, so all of that started to kind of hone in on a very specific set of career pathways, and then, as I started to explore those pathways and discern those and prayerfully you know, sit with those and then see which doors opened, this is really what became apparent. And, for example, another big one was when my mentor is, I was starting my own company to do this around Austin working with fire departments and such, he was kind of mentoring me helping me, “Okay, how do you write a contract?  I have no idea.  Can you help me?” and things like that and a year later he called me, “this is John Oberg and said, “hey, we should work together.”

05:40.77

Kristian Jaloway

And I had no idea what that meant. I didn't know what a partnership was. I'm like, okay, fifty fifty, and he's like, sure you have any cash? I mean I don't think it's gonna be anyway. So he explained to me what partnerships were like, and we started working together and so yeah, lots of little moments along the way to answer your question more directly.

05:59.10

aggierobison

That's awesome. So tell us a little bit about what you're doing as an executive coach, specifically I know you don't work exclusively with nonprofits, but it sounds like that's the bulk of your clients are nonprofit leaders. What is life like as an executive coach?

06:12.77

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah I get to spend most of my time just talking to individuals and coaching individuals. I'd say about about 90% of my work is that.  It will start. You know we follow a typical agenda for a coaching call but it's, “hey what's going on? What's working? What's not working? What are the things you're, you know, consistently,you know there's certain projects we'll be trying to move forward.\?” There'll be periodic calls like, “hey, I need 5 minutes because ah, some fire just popped up. We need to fix real quickly.” So, I love the aspect of helping people in the moments that they need help the most and being able to solve different problems throughout the day.  That, for me, is really important.  Then a certain percentage of my time is going in to the organization and helping facilitate those bigger conversations from a strategic planning perspective. We'll do off-sites. We'll do you know. 1- 2 days, whatever it is - following up, implementing projects.  Look, most of leadership is not the ideas. It's implementation. Like that's what I really love doing, is like oh yeah, I knew these ideas, but you actually helped me implement this stuff and move it forward.

07:15.48

aggierobison

Yeah, yeah.

07:28.15

Kristian Jaloway

And, that's what most of my days are like. I get to spend some time creating content, new ideas, thinking about things, solving problems, which is really fun too, and you know we've got other projects in the hopper that I'm working on as well. So, all of that is how I spend most of my time.

07:42.14

aggierobison

Great! When somebody says there's a lot of parallels between what you do now and what I do as a fundraising consultant, but when somebody says Kristian, I don't know if I need an executive coach, like why would I need somebody to to help me in this. What's your typical answer in that?

07:58.39

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, so there's kind of 2 first questions. I guess the first thing is the status quo. Okay, if you're okay with where you're at, then it's not worth it to invest time and energy and money into getting a coach all the stuff I'm going to give you to do is homework. It's just too much of a lift so is the situation you're in bad enough that it warrants this? Now, if you're not sleeping at night if you have you know…

08:18.29

aggierobison

Yeah.

08:29.97

Kristian Jaloway

…employee issues, then yeah, we should probably be talking.  And, I guess the other flip side is how much do you want to grow?  If you already have a pathway of growth, and you know exactly what that looks like and you're prepared… Let's say, you're an associate pastor. Well, I'm not a pastor, I'm not charged. Why do I need a coach? The question is who is preparing you to be a pastor? Do you know the 30 things you're going to have to excel at to be a good pastor or even a decent pastor, and again like not everybody is going to be an expert, but do you know the 80% of those things you need to at least manage?  Or somebody who does those? So, basically there's like the problems I need to solve and then there's what's the growth potential I have and am I realizing that?

09:16.51

aggierobison

Yeah, what are the…?  I have a story and then I'll ask a question.  I was at a conference a couple years ago, and I was visiting with a young priest and he was maybe, I don't know if he was six months or 18 months ordained, but he was pretty early on, but he was the chaplain of a campus ministry. And, he said what do I need to do to fundraise, and I said well you need a vision. You need to know where you're going and what that looks like and then you need to be able to communicate that to your donors and get them excited and then invite them to help you, come along with you financially in that vision, making that vision reality, and he said…

09:51.32

aggierobison

…Okay, that sounds great. How do I come up with a vision? I said, “oh yeah that's a tougher question, and it just struck me, you know, because I was like this guy, like genuinely has never, has probably never been in a situation where he had to envision a future for…

09:55.72

Kristian Jaloway

Ah.

10:01.47

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, yeah.

10:09.87

aggierobison

…An entire organization, right? He was just envisioning a future for himself which was to get through seminary at this point. And so is that a challenge that you see working with, whether Catholic leaders, nonprofit leaders, other leaders? Is that challenge of like, all right I know that this is, what I need, I need a vision, I need a plan, I need whatever?

10:09.91

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah.

10:29.60

aggierobison

…I just don't know how to do it. Is that something that you see on a kind of a regular basis?

10:29.94

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, the frequent question we get is, “hey who do I hire as a fundraising consultant?  Hey, who do we go to for this or that? I'm like hey happy to help you with that again. Let's talk about…

10:52.73

aggierobison

In yeah.

10:52.79

Kristian Jaloway

…How much are you trying to raise and what are you raising it for because I think that's going to depend on what kind of consultant you're trying to hire and those kinds of questions and so then we start walking backwards, and like you said, then it depends on, well what is this for? In other words, what's the vision and how are you selling that? And, so as we start to ask those questions. And so we start walking them through and say Well. What's your personal vision for your own life, for your own priesthood?  Have you clarified that?  Do you even have a physical vision board? For example, for you personally and then what is the vision of the parish essentially? All these people's visions for their own life and for this parish are put together creating a common vision that then we solidify and put into place. You can do it as a physical vision board like literally pictures. Which is really when in biblical terms what a vision is, right? It's a picture in your mind that God puts there usually through a dream. That's what the vision is and so when you start walking them through this and now explain that vision to mean words now let's capture that in words, right? And, what's a mission statement? It's part of that Vision. What's a brand promise?  It is part of that Vision. What's it like - there's all these pieces of this puzzle then that you help them to assemble to explain that vision and they're like oh this is how you actually do it with the nuts and bolts.

12:05.18

aggierobison

Um, yeah.

12:16.44

aggierobison

What kind of pictures do you typically see on a vision board like that?

12:19.30

Kristian Jaloway

A lot of it is kind of bucket list stuff but a lot of it is just family pictures. You know I've got my vision board right here and I'd say more than 50% of it is just my wife and beautiful children and you know some places I've been…

12:38.61

Kristian Jaloway

…and again some of them are kind of bucket list things I want to do. You know the Vatican spiritually significant images so that's kind of typical when we do these with young leaders. We do. Ah, we do a little leadership boot camp with the diocese every year with young adults and it's fun to see them do theirs. And, invariably they'll have you know the like young ladies that are looking for their spouse will have pictures of bridal gowns and things like that. So yeah and priests are just like us. Obviously they'll have other things on there…

13:10.96

aggierobison

Yeah, yeah.

13:13.95

Kristian Jaloway

..But they've got their, you know, they want to get their truck. They want to do their, you know, get that big buck. Whatever it is. They've got their dreams up. You know so they're just they're just people like us.

13:24.17

aggierobison

Yeah I did. When I turned 33, so I'm forty one now, when I turned 33, I must have been reading scripture or doing devotions and it connected that this was a very important year in the life of Jesus's journey, right? And so I was like okay I need to get my stuff together.

13:37.80

Kristian Jaloway

Now.

13:41.97

aggierobison

And, we had 1 kid at the time and um, ah but I made this goal, I went through this you know this whole process, and I set these goals for by the time I turned 40, and looking back on them, some of them were not goals, but they were visions. They were hopes. They were desires but like for 2 you know I knew we had 1 kid at the time we we wanted more kids and so I put you know be a family of 5 and I'm like that's not a goal necessarily right? Like it's a prayer. Um, but but like being able to…

14:12.35

Kristian Jaloway

Right? right? right.

14:19.17

aggierobison

…being able to conceptualize that that far in advance but not like to the end of my life was incredibly helpful for me and you know, um, went through, and I think I had 14, you know when I kind of broke it down -  the spiritual goals, the professional goals,the family goals at all of these. Um and. I can't say that I hit all of them by the time I hit I turned 40, covid kind of wrecked some of them, you know to change our trajectory in ah in a couple of real ways, but it was so incredibly helpful that I always you know, I kept this doc as evernote on my phone on my computer and I'd pull it up every now and then I'd be like where am I on this in it.

14:43.17

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah.

14:56.80

aggierobison

Was so helpful to me to track along with that. Do you kind of see that same kind of freedom and um, you know, sort of excitement when you go through these exercises with some of the people that you work with?

15:08.15

Kristian Jaloway

Oh yeah, absolutely! In the beginning, they’re usually like this sounds kind of corny, and it feels like that, especially for people who are not into this kind of stuff and even for me when I first thought of it. It's like I don't know it's a little you know, hokey or whatever.

15:15.74

aggierobison

Yeah.

15:23.86

Kristian Jaloway

And, you start to do it and you start to look at the biblical perspective of it too, especially for priests, so like oh this is, what does it means when St Joseph had a dream what was the dream he had? It was some sort of vision. He was given what the end result was or like Jonah.

15:42.87

Kristian Jaloway

Right? We have this child's book I was just reading a mass the other day to my you know anyway, it's a little picture book for Jonah and so I know this story is top of mind anyways and it's just like what was it he was given this message from God to go to Nineveh and he had a vision though that was in his mind. It was different than what God's vision ultimately was because his was like I'm gonna preach and they're all gonna either be like fire and brimstone. Whatever and his vision had to be tailored to what God's reality was so sometimes like we make that mistake too, it's too much of our vision. We haven't really heard clearly what God's vision was but essentially is the…

16:11.27

aggierobison

Yeah.

16:20.77

Kristian Jaloway

…If we fulfill our mission, then the vision is the end result of that mission like that's what the world would look like after I fulfill my mission so you as a father like you fulfill your mission again. A lot of this is mysterious. We don't know how many kids we're gonna be blessed with right? But, if I'm trying and fulfilling my mission as a dad as a father like that's the end result that brings a lot of clarity and a lot of and just a lot of peace, right?

16:43.88

aggierobison

Wow. Um, so speaking about you know, kind of seeing the end in mind and sort of moving to there. You've been doing this for a while now and you've worked with you know, probably a number of different clients and a number of different leaders. What have been some of your biggest professional wins, I guess and not necessarily you know, kind of picking a you know a person and seeing them come up but like just looking at you know the whole of your career. What have been some of your biggest professional wins in regard to coaching and working with people?

17:08.75

Kristian Jaloway

Sure.

17:20.54

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, I'd say you know there's some obvious ones like oh you know I have this client who's a big executive at x company in town and it's fun to say you know I've got that notch on my belt or um. You know some of the bigger clients. We've worked with like Houston Fire Department, you know the fourth biggest fire department in the country and stuff like that, those are like notches in the belt to to kind of puff up my chest but honestly, what really brings you the deepest satisfaction is just like that brand new priest who's like stuck and doesn't know how to talk to his pastor about…

17:54.50

Kristian Jaloway

…whatever issues going on in the rectory and like you have the conversation to help them reframe it and they're like oh we had the conversation. It wasn't so bad or you know it's ah it's a little, they seem insignificant, but they're really significant for the person who's going through it. It's those wins that really make my day.

18:13.52

Kristian Jaloway

And make me feel like I'm making a difference for people.

18:18.72

aggierobison

That's Awesome. So, let's shift gears a little bit to philanthropy. Um, when you are working with people, how much are you seeing that just and how much are you encouraging or seeing or or sort of you know, I guess encouraging the idea of introducing sort of acts of generosity or sort of moments of of sacrifice into people? And do you find that when they sort of start thinking in that way it changes their perspective on maybe what that vision might be?

18:58.50

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, absolutely I think a lot of people are afraid of fundraising to start with, and they're afraid to ask what they're afraid to ask they like, maybe, as men in general I don't know, might be sexist or women, but I think that the priests I work with are all men and so the in in general, It's just hard to ask for help and it's hard to ask for financial help, and we want to kind of think we all have it together and know what we're doing so.

19:32.41

Kristian Jaloway

That's one aspect of it, and partly because um, we're not really good at saying no to stuff like we really want to help people and please people so anybody who comes to me as a priest like my tendency is to say yes because I want to help them. But when you say yes to everything…

19:52.19

Kristian Jaloway

…You're kind of not, you kind of say no to everything too, right? like you have to say no to certain things so you can say yes to what's important, and this is clear and vocational discernment. You can't follow 2 vocations -  once you got to say no to everything else you can marry this one woman you got to say no to you know marriage to become free, right?

20:08.30

aggierobison

Yeah, yeah.

20:11.50

Kristian Jaloway

…And so there's a lot of the psychology of like trying to say yes to everything that I think is doing us harm and so when you start to help people say look what is your mission? What are you focused on? What should you say yes to and what is everything else that you should say no to which is basically prioritization. And, true discernment right? like you have to say no to everything else and then when you help them understand, oh it's the same thing when you go to your donors. In other words, when you go to a donor make it super easy for them to say no. The easier it is for them to say no, the more likely they are to actually say yes.

20:46.99

aggierobison

Well.

20:48.39

Kristian Jaloway

If you go there pushing for a yes, in my experience, they're already trying to figure out how to say no. I do this. I don't know about you. I do this in mass every time I hear a new appeal. I like trying to figure out a reason why I should say no to this, right? But if it's somebody like. But it but it when it's somebody who comes and like doesn't try to push for for for money and there's just like there's this one guy who is in Appalachia, I think, and he goes around just preaching because they it's like two percent Catholic, they can't support the church at all with the local population, right?

21:22.64

aggierobison

Yeah.

21:26.55

Kristian Jaloway

…And it was so convincing and so just heartfelt and just told his story like his story was so powerful. He didn't really ask for money. He was just like yes we're here. This is how we survive, it's people's generosity, but I just felt compelled to open my wall and give him money.

21:41.45

aggierobison

Yeah.

21:44.56

Kristian Jaloway

Right? But, it was the opposite of like we really need money. We really need to support you like we really were really appreciative. We're all these things are like the typical sales kind of right that like I'm trying to say no to.

21:52.25

aggierobison

Yeah, and he was I mean, in that instance, he was telling the story of his life and telling his work and inviting you into that story, right? And that's I think a very powerful takeaway for fundraisers is…

22:03.66

Kristian Jaloway

Right.

22:11.76

aggierobison

…that the more you can make your experience, make the experience of your ministry, make the experience really of the beneficiaries of your ministry, the participants a real story and a story that the donors can see themselves sort of being part of, then that's really where that desire and that emotional pull to want to help becomes really powerful and people people then take action on that, right?

22:39.20

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, absolutely and I’ve got to be okay with them saying no to though like I have to be okay, especially at a major gift meeting. You know if I'm going to go in, I've fundraised for all kinds of things. In fact, as legionaries they would send us the seminarians out for the summer. It gives us $300 and a car voucher, meal voucher, and a ticket to some state. I was like okay you you 2 seminarians go raise $30000 in scholarships. So you get three months and $300 come back with cash. It was like wow. Okay. Ah, you know and you don't know they give you a list of potential donors and whatnot but it is a great cut your teeth experience. Um, but all that being said is like now if I knew what I know now then it would have been so much easier because I would have gone in with just less expectations I think I would have gotten better results.

23:12.83

aggierobison

Yeah.

23:28.75

aggierobison

Ah.

23:30.10

Kristian Jaloway

It would have been like you said, like this is who we are This is how and and as a seminary is easy because it's like we were. The story is like our stories that you're selling right? like raising money for priests raising money for nuns. Oh that's so easy right.

23:34.20

aggierobison

Yeah, right.

23:45.28

Kristian Jaloway

If you just imagine your daughter in this convent and like it's the story is so compelling and so easy. But yeah, you're absolutely right and people will be called and feel called to that or they won't and if you're okay with that then you know you're going to be successful.

23:47.51

aggierobison

Ah, yeah.

23:58.74

aggierobison

What do you wish more Catholics knew about philanthropy and about generosity?

24:05.38

Kristian Jaloway

Um, ah I wish more people understood the spiritual connection. It's not just about the physical needs.

24:21.87

Kristian Jaloway

Ah, a really great fundraiser once told me like Catholic philanthropy began with the incarnation because God needed diapers and you know food and physical needs and so that spiritual connection is super important. The other perspective for me as ah as a donor or me in fundraising. It's still like there's my spirituality, my relationship with God is also dependent on how generous I am, not that I can buy God, not that I can, but God speaks to me and feeds me spiritually and invites me into his story is really what it's about and calls me to give back in some way time talent treasure and so if I and I think if more of us understood that connection between the spiritual and the and the physical realm. And how fundraising and connects those two I think we just have a different outlook on philanthropy on raising money and all that.

25:24.23

aggierobison

Well, it's like you said a minute ago. Um, you know how we prioritize and how we say no to things right? That's what's going to lead us down a path. Um you know and if we prioritize money and we prioritize our wealth over other aspects of our life. Our faith included in that then that's where our priorities are going to be and so I think what God desires for us is to de-prioritze our money, our finances, our wealth below our faith and in order to in the way that we express that the way that we live that out is by being sacrificial with our money and giving that to God to show that this is where our priorities are.

26:20.90

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, totally agree with you. I mean, there's so many cases I remember of with the legionaries. We had several members of Van Hobsburg family who were legionaries at some point and so we got to meet some of their family members and things I remember at 1 point somebody. Um, they came and gave a talk and just kind of explained some of the family history and the relationship to the church and stuff like that and and they said that specifically like how many times do they have these huge financial opportunities, but it would have taken away from their family. It would have taken away from their faith perspective. And they said no and so they gave up huge financial opportunities and invariably after that, when they prioritize God, when they prioritize their family, other financial opportunities come open, other doors would open with even more potential to keep them going and and to and it's not like they didn't have to make some real sacrifices. They did. It's not just all fun and games. But it's so true. There's an economy of grace that is very very real and again like there's going to be tough times, but those are the times that really count the most I think it was Mother Teresa who had a donor is like you know would give her a certain amount every every year and then finally he was in some really as 2008 or 1 of those I can't remember 1 of those downturns you know is like and she's like I understand if you can't help says no…

27:49.81

Kristian Jaloway

This is when it really really hurts. This is when it really really counts. I'm gonna give the same amount. Yeah.

27:54.27

aggierobison

Yeah, yeah there we I interviewed Frank Cummings who's with the Kansas State University Foundation um episode one sixteen and he had a he didn't enter religious life but he was in seminary and with a religious or wanted to pursue you know life with a religious order and the reason for that was because of that vow of poverty and he said that really resonated with him and ultimately he discerned a different path and now he's married and has family and his fundraising for the for the university, but he said that the lessons that I learned and just accepting that. I would not have wealth that I would not I would I would live um, based on the generosity of others he said has stayed with me all of my life and he said that's probably the biggest blessing that came out of my time in seminary is that detachment from money as this is what I need to to be happy and um. And this you know trust and faith in God that God will provide and you know not that we all need to pursue a life of poverty or vows of poverty but being able to detach I think is huge and just our ability to really embrace our. Our faith and understanding what God is calling us to.

29:05.48

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, if you're not detached right now with the inflation the way it is not what's going on has certainly helped you to rethink a little bit the priorities. Yeah.

29:13.75

aggierobison

My yes yeah no, my gosh. Ah so Christian last couple of questions. What are some of biggest challenges that you're seeing? What keeps you up at night?

29:26.54

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, um I mean aside from inflation right now in the market. Ah, but yeah, there is just like okay trust it makes smart decisions right? But I guess other than that, it's really the…

29:43.36

Kristian Jaloway

…huge potential right now for our company and business. Thankfully the church is kind of awakening to a new way to grow and innovate and work with consultants and and and start to learn like okay, you kind of get what you pay for. So Let's hire experts for certain things and then pay them commensurate market rates. Probably not what normally would be paid but decent and so what that means though is there's huge potential for expansion with the coaching we're doing now, as we're pushing towards national launch which is great. It's also you know it's been years in the coming and the making and we're at that point where it's kind of really scary and it's like okay now it's put out into the deep lower than nets for the catch and trusting the lord that they will not rip and that ah that this will go well so you know that's...

30:35.79

aggierobison

Yeah, what do you love most about your work? What gets you up in the morning every day?

30:38.95

Kristian Jaloway

That's really what keeps me up right now.

30:47.56

Kristian Jaloway

It's just so exciting to be able to work on what, in my mind, is a really important piece of what can make such a huge difference in the world. I mean the Catholic Church is the only organization, the only one the oldest institution currently existing. And it has the biggest reach, right? It's it's it doesn't just reach one stratus of society. It reaches every economic stratus within society, every single culture, every single language like and so to be able to help the church just be. Be better at what she does, I mean that's really what gets me excited, keeps me going besides my family. I can't. I got to say besides waking up and having a two year old who wants me to read books to him at least snuggle under the blankets. That's the other thing. Yeah, yeah.

31:29.18

aggierobison

That's awesome. Of course.

31:38.85

aggierobison

But you yeah yeah, no I I get that I was ah it was a late night last night with um with our one year old but you know the alarm went off this morning, kids came in and jumped on my head and I said all right, let's get up ready for school. Yeah.

31:53.29

Kristian Jaloway

Ah, exactly exactly. So it's the big picture in the like immediate fit picture right? It's both. There's just so beautiful. Yeah.

31:55.43

aggierobison

Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah good well Kristian this has been awesome. Ah I do appreciate all the work that you do certainly and just appreciate taking the time to come on and share about the work that you're doing.

32:13.72

Kristian Jaloway

Well thank you? Likewise, you guys are doing great stuff. So finally great to meet in person. Sure, let's do it.

32:14.83

aggierobison

Um, so yeah, great all right. You want to jump to our lightning round fantastic all right question number 1 of our lightning round. If you could fundraise for any organization or cause at any point in history, what would it be?

32:34.50

Kristian Jaloway

Oh boy, I was thinking about the flight into Egypt. I don't know if they had to, ah this came up the other day because somebody asked me. Okay, which of the 3 kings would you be?

32:40.21

aggierobison

Wow! yeah.

32:51.12

Kristian Jaloway

Was like I don't know but the one who gives the gold but like that's so base like all the ladies were like no is the frankincense, I was like no I'm a dad I'm in charge of providing for my family like I think so Joseph was most happy with the gold. So.

32:53.15

aggierobison

So.

33:09.20

Kristian Jaloway

I don't know if they need it anymore. But if you had to fundraise for 1 thing I'd be like yeah that'd be cool to like keep God alive.

33:16.60

aggierobison

That's awesome. Question number 2: if you could get a donor meeting with anyone in the world living or dead who would it be with?

33:24.57

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah that's such a fun one too. Um, that's a hard one. You know you think of these big names like Carnegie or whoever and who knows if they were Catholic or not um. And then what came to mind immediately was Jesus. But I'm like he's kind of yeah he kind of got out of that situation. So he's not going to be considered a donor anymore. Um I I can have to think about that one more and get back to you. But um I think. There's just so many people that have done huge things for the church and the list I couldn't really pick one person. The list would be too long but you know I would have to actually research and go back and say like. Who who are the people who started like the first hospital right? because this is what I think about like the church has made a huge difference in the world like the hospital system the school system so who are the donors who started the first catholic hospital or the first university and in Paris France like the sorbonne, I think it was right like those donors who started those and had.

34:19.67

aggierobison

Yeah.

34:37.30

Kristian Jaloway

It was tiny like there was no vision of what that would look like. It's massive now and they were the first donor to first start that university anyway.

34:46.24

aggierobison

That's awesome. We spotlighted Danny Thomas in the first season of our other podcast holy donors and um, he was the founder of St Jude Children's research hospital in Memphis Tennessee which the reason he started that was because he had ah. He had kids on the way and he had no money. No job. He was struggling and he had recently gained a devotion to St Jude and so in mass early one morning he prayed to St jude show me my way in life and I'll build you a shrine and ultimately Danny Thomas prospered as an entertainer. Um, and.

35:14.64

Kristian Jaloway

Wow.

35:22.72

aggierobison

Then stayed true to that promise and built St Jude's as a monument to St Jude and so just a really tremendous story there and now it's you know one of the if not the largest children's hospital networks in the world. So really fantastic, but but motivated completely…

35:34.44

Kristian Jaloway

That is awesome. Yeah.

35:40.17

aggierobison

…Out of faith and a desire to serve god question number 3: is there enough money out there for every organization that's doing good work?

35:43.73

Kristian Jaloway

That's so cool.

35:49.89

Kristian Jaloway

Oh absolutely! Way way more than anybody needs that is well one is statistically like I think if you ah you hopefully you probably know these numbers. But I think if you took all the money that is being raised currently and all the money that is…

35:51.44

aggierobison

Yeah, why do you say that.

36:07.70

Kristian Jaloway

…is available for donations like people don't know where to put their money. I mean there's huge money out there and there's a lot of money that people could donate and would if they were asked for the right cause but just haven't been so I mean statistically and anecdotally I've seen it right? Lots of people who come to me and they're like. Hey we do help sometimes for the work we do. We've realized priests need help fundraising and so we'll just kind of walk them through that small piece of how to fundraise for what we're doing for them and I've had many donors say like you know I could help 2 priests if you asked me. Like well why didn't you ask me is like well probably because I'm a bad fundraiser I guess I shouldn't know that. So yeah, yeah.

36:48.48

aggierobison

Ah, um, and cool question number 4: if you could go back in time and offer yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?

36:58.86

Kristian Jaloway

Oh, be patient. Um it doesn't ever work I always tell myself that but it never works I think I should be 5 years ahead where I um be yeah, just just be patient and and probably the other thing was given my story to like discern deeply. And and and really listen to yourself, listen to your body, listen to like holy spirit because every time I do this, you know whether it's should we hire this person is this right person is this right? You know it's like okay I get the right answer when I do it but by the way they go together. I'm not patient enough so I don't sit down and listen. So so and ah yeah.

37:37.69

aggierobison

Ah, so I understand I can relate question number 5: who are the 3 people who have most influenced your professional development?

37:50.60

Kristian Jaloway

John Oberg for sure, my business partner most recently I'd say um, you know all the priests who were important during my professional my priestly formation for sure. I mean there's a long list there I'd say another one is probably just the again I know these like groups of people but Pat Lencioni I read all of his materials when I was just getting started and all those others like Jim Collins and you know you start reading those books and they all reference this whole sector of people. So I read through all of those so those are those are kind of the consulting professionals that I look up to and would love to meet someday.

38:33.47

aggierobison

Awesome question number 6: what is something interesting about you that people may not know?

38:42.66

Kristian Jaloway

Oh um, well I'm a private pilot or I should say almost I've been working on this for a long time and I but I love flying and travel and so I've been. Ah, yeah I.

38:54.50

aggierobison

Where are you? Where are you on the journey?

38:58.48

Kristian Jaloway

All I have to do is take the final flight test. So I've done all the hours I've done all the, Covid kind of put a hiccup in all that too and having kids of course. But it's super fun.

39:08.94

aggierobison

How many hours of training does it take to get to where you are now?

39:13.89

Kristian Jaloway

The minimum is something like you could probably do it in about 40 hours. I think I have fifty something hours of flight time and a whole bunch of training time. But it's one of my passions and hobbies. So I grew up in Anchorage Alaska and every priest in Alaska is a pilot.

39:28.58

aggierobison

Um, ah here.

39:32.73

Kristian Jaloway

Every doctor is a pilot like everybody's up island in Alaska I yeah, all these hunters and fishermen and so yeah, that's just ah, aviation is always been something I've been interested in and really.

39:46.82

aggierobison

That's awesome. Ah question number 7: what is one book you think everyone should read?

39:54.56

Kristian Jaloway

Oh the bible's too easy right? Um, yeah, probably especially if you're in philanthropy thinking of that specifically there's a there's actually a series of books called The Go Giver. So you've heard of the go getter. So there's this book and they're very short. There's the original go giver and I think there's 3 or 4 others or like go giver sales which is the closest to to fundraising but that series of books is really good because it puts into perspective like you shouldn't go into a meeting just asking how can you help me it really flips it on the on its head of how do I go in and help you and so that's really helped me and I've seen guys who have done this for example, Tim Glimkowski taught me this He's like how can I pray for you today and so I was. I was up at a conference and saw Tim Bush walking by and I just grabbed him by the yes you walking by and say hey Tim how can we? How can I pray for you today and and these guys I was standing with after he left was like do you know him that was that was so cool because you as like oh no I mean I know his name I've never…

41:03.34

aggierobison

Yeah, yeah.

41:05.87

Kristian Jaloway

…Never talked to him like one on one but he was just looking and he looked like he needed some prayers and so I just said it. He's like he was worried about his daughter was giving birth soon and said yeah, definitely. But anyways, it's that attitude of how can I help you for real.

41:22.91

aggierobison

That's awesome. Yeah, and I think that's what you know going back to our earlier work. That's what right being a good coach is so being a good consultant is this so being a good ah right anything friend. Ah you know mentor family member. It's about trying to be selfless in our desires and um and giving in our in every other way. So I like that book or I haven't. I haven't read it but I like that recommendation so that's pretty cool. Cool well Kristian it's been a pleasure. Thanks so much for joining me if people want to.

41:49.36

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, that's a good one. It's a good one cool.

41:57.87

aggierobison

Get a hold of you or learn more about your work. How can they track you down?

41:59.72

Kristian Jaloway

Yeah, they can find me on our company website which is John Oberg Dot Com o b e r g or they can find me on Facebook orLinkedin christian with a k Jaloway and J A L O W Y and happy to chat with folks and tell more about what we do.

42:18.13

aggierobison

Awesome! Well thank you very much Kristian and to those of you listening. Thanks so much for joining us. I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did if you have any questions or you want to get in touch with us. You can send us a note at [email protected] otherwise god bless you god bless your work and we'll see you next time.